10 Pro-Tips for Catholic Singles

1. Pray

Pray always, pray often. Pray when you wake up, pray before you go to bed, pray throughout your day. Unsure of where to start? Try a morning offering, a simple Our Father or Hail Mary, or keeping a journal of prayer intentions (especially for other people). Give the Lord primacy of place in your day-to-day life, so He can remain there in good times and bad, as people come and go, for all of eternity. For a helpful resource, check out Prayer for Beginners by Peter Kreeft. Ready to go deeper? Try Interior Freedom by Jacques Phillippe or The Soul of the Apostolate by Jean-Baptiste Chautard.

2. Discern

“For I know well the plans I have in mind for you… plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope” (Jeremiah 29:11). God has a plan for your life, and part of your job is to figure out what His plan is. SPOILER: his primary plan for you is that you be a saint. The call to holiness is universal; the path to holiness is unique. Listen for the Lord’s call and guidance, and seek opportunities to test your vocation. Explore local orders, speak with a vocations director about seminary or religious life, prepare your heart for marriage, and keep praying.

3. Treat Yo’ Self (to Self-Improvement)

It goes hand in hand with prayer and discernment: take a good, honest look at your life, and figure out the opportunities for growth the Lord has set before you. Seek out the virtues, and foster their presence in your life. Find a good confessor, and get started tackling habitual sins. No time like the present for holiness! While you’re tending to your soul, get your house in order too. Get out of debt, visit the dentist twice a year, go for a walk every day, and take good care of yourself.

4. Volunteer

As tempting as it is to stay home with your couch, we are made to be in relationship with other humans. Get involved in your parish community, volunteer for a local nonprofit organization, or pick up a new hobby (check out ideas here). Once you’re there, talk to people! Embrace the awkward, put a smile on your face, and make a new friend or two. Friends, especially Catholic friends, are an important part of our formation as people and as future participants in a vocation.

5. Smile

While we’re on the subject, SMILE. Remember that your joy is in the Lord! When we live our faith whole-heartedly, with our whole hearts, our love for Him shows in our being. Let your little light shine, friend!

6. Live Your Life

By this we mean, yes, adventure is out there, but it’s not just about living your life. It’s about living YOUR life. Don’t get sucked into the trap of comparing your reality with the filtered, posed, manufactured lives you see on social media sites. Everyone has their own struggles, their own suffering, and their own walk with Jesus. Relationships are always more complex than they seem on the internet, so unplug and focus on real life. That’s where all the good stuff happens anyway!

7. Date

You don’t have to be too serious about it, and you don’t have to be exclusive. Dating – casual outings with the intent to learn more about another human, preferably in the over-arching context of discerning a vocation to marriage – can be a great opportunity for growth. Be willing to ask someone out. Be willing to say yes to first dates. Be upfront and honest about who you are, and make good choices!

8. Check Your Self (or at Least Check Your Expectations)

See above re: living your own life. Stop comparing yourself to your friends, and definitely stop comparing yourself (and others) to characters on TV or in the movies. St. JP2 would remind you, you are a unique and unrepeatable gift. So is everyone else! Don’t be misled by the unreality of Hollywood. Recognize that, while we are all gift, we are also all broken. Put the Lord first, and seek out others who put Him first too.

9. Nurture Your Current Relationships

So you’re single, and you feel like you’re not in a relationship. Sorry, pal, but you are! You are still a son or daughter, a friend, and a grandchild. You might also be a sibling, an aunt or uncle, or a godparent. These relationships need work too! Spend good, quality time with your friends – especially encouraging and challenging your Catholic friends, and remember to call your mom regularly.

10. Be

When you’re checking off the rest of this list on the regular, give yourself permission to just BE. Be in the moment you’re in! Be in your current state without distraction or worry. Revel in the peace that you can find NOW, knowing that this moment is fleeting. The Lord has a plan for you and your life. If He’s not revealing it yet, be confident He will. If He’s revealed it but seems not to be moving, be confident He is. Put your trust in God, and be.