Following is the prepared text from Bishop Olmsted’s homily for the feast of the Holy Family.

Living as the Holy Family

December 27, 2020

“O God… grant that we may imitate… the Holy Family… in practicing the virtues of family life and in the bonds of charity.”

These words from the Opening Prayer of this Mass remind us that the mission of each person is closely linked with family. Each of us has a part to fulfill in making our family a place of virtue. For this to happen, family life must be given priority.

Of the 33 years of Jesus’ earthly life, He dedicated only three to public ministry. That is a 10 to 1 ratio of time for family over other duties. How much time do you give to your spouse and children, your brothers and sisters? Jesus made family life a priority because, as Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI said, “The family is …where every person learns to give and receive love.”

Not in my childhood, some of you may be thinking. Some may feel you got cheated. For you, Holy Family Sunday may stir up much pain, even anger. The fact is each of our families suffers from broken promises and failed relationships. That is why Jesus entered our world as the member of a family, to heal and redeem every family’s brokenness, beginning with the first family in history, Adam and Eve whose second son Cain killed his brother Abel. Sin brings suffering to every family.

Therefore, Jesus established the Church to be the family of God. In this way, no matter what shortcomings our earthly father or mother may have, we can be reborn in Baptism as beloved sons and daughters of God the Father. Jesus truly becomes our brother, and as He died on the Cross to redeem us, He gave us His own mother to be our Mother, too. We were made for family life in a world badly broken by sin. As members of Christ’s family, the Church, we find the grace to heal and to say with gratitude the Prayer Jesus taught, “Our Father…”

What virtues did the Holy Family practice that we need today, whatever our family of origin may be? The following three are mentioned by St Paul in his Letter to the Colossians:

Put on heartfelt compassion and kindness.
Be patient with one another and forgive.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.

Let’s consider these, one by one.

First, put on heartfelt compassion and kindness. Philo of Alexandria said: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” Although Philo lived 20 centuries ago, his advice remains relevant for our times. It may not seem like a battle to others, but in fact each of us has a battle to face. The kindness of others bolsters our ability to engage the battles God allows us to face. And many of life’s battles occur within the home: – a battle with cancer or other disease like COVID, – the battle against drug abuse and other addictions, – the battle with depression and discouragement, and the huge effort required to be faithful to promises.

As we engage these battles, too easily we may find excuses for responding with the opposite of kindness: like sarcastic remarks, sharp looks, cold silence or insulting words. If we cave into these, life becomes more miserable for all. But kindness restores hope and bolsters courage to fight the battles that are unique to each one.

Secondly, St. Paul says, “Be patient with one another and forgive.” Closely aligned with kindness is patience, the virtue so eminently present in Jesus. But some people today dismiss patience as passive indifference, as a failure to stand against what is wrong.

However, the virtue of patience never condones what’s wrong but, while trying to stop it, continues to love the wrong-doer. And the patient person continues to trust in God and in His ultimate victory over sin.

At the heart of patience is the ability to wait. Good marriages require all kinds of waiting. In the family, we wait for the sick to recover, for hurts to be healed, for embarrassments to be forgotten. With the virtue of patience, we wait for others to grow — physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We wait for them to learn from their mistakes without reminding them incessantly of what they did.

Patient waiting is far more than a quantity of time. It is a quality of the heart and a habit of the soul. Patient waiting is required when we pray. It prepares us to trust in the Lord and the creative fire of His mercy.

Thirdly, St. Paul writes: “Let the word of God dwell in you richly.” Jesus puts it this way (Jn 8:31f), “If you make my word your home, you will indeed be my disciples, you will learn the truth and the truth will make you free.” How do we make these words of Jesus our home? In my family, it began with prayer together every evening, before the youngest child went to bed. The “Our Father, Hail Mary and Act of Contrition” we prayed every night; and these prayers, repeated daily, built a kind of spiritual home in which we lived day and night, where we knew God was our Father, Mary, our Mother, and where words like “I’m sorry, please forgive me” had the power to create an atmosphere of compassion.

Children know what matters most to Mom and Dad and to one another. They see the sacrifices to make Sunday the Lord’s Day. They see how conversations can contradict the word of God or make it come alive and cut through the falsehoods in the world surrounding the family.

The graces received by husband and wife on their wedding day do not end there; but are renewed whenever they listen to God’s word at Mass, pray over it during the week in their home, and strive to put His word into practice. How blest is the house of those who listen to God’s word and act on it.

There is so much at stake in the way we live family life. As Saint John Paul II said in Saint Louis some years ago: “…the family is the primary and most vital foundation of society, the first school of social virtue and solidarity. As the family goes, so goes the nation!” That is why we pray with the whole Church today: